FIND ME HERE...
vamseedharr@gmail.com

search whatever you want right from here...

Google

Wednesday 23 December 2009

I want twins... girls!

I don't understand why a woman always builds her life around the man she is with. Evolution dictated terms and said, the man is the breadwinner of the house and the woman is the homemaker. But, it never said the woman has to weave her life around a man and keep moulding herself with every step of the man. I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She is about 4 yrs younger to me. A very brilliant girl and even better singer. I love her voice. If given a chance, I am sure she could make her name very easily in the Tinsel town. But she managed to go for a different choice altogether. Recently, she went ahead and got herself a husband. Oops.

I pinged her to ask how she was. She said she needed advice. I said I'll try. We talked some about entrance exam into a Ph.D. program. She was planning to get into a Ph.D. I was happy to see her give it a shot. I asked her why not come to the US? Much more exposure and definitely much easier to get into a Ph.D. program. The answer she gave me prompted me to write this post. "Coming to the US is out of question. I am married now". I am not against the institution of marriage. But, what she said after that bugs me the most about the Indian matrimonial system. She said, "My husband might go to the US pretty soon, though he might not stay for long. So, I definitely cannot look for opportunities in the US." WOW. The guy can go to the US, but not the girl? Why? I can't find even a single valid reason for this discrimination. The girl is supposed to make all the adjustments to be a part of what a man (with his puny brain) decides to make of his life. Kinda sucks!

18 comments:

Ranjana said...

alryt, so y do want two girls? so they can make two men do wat they want??... send for training to me, i will teach them the path to nirvana...lol!!!

Unknown said...

:P...

so much for ideals.. will u be fine with sending your wife across seven seas.???

Men has been the breadwinner since time immemorial..they went to seas to get fish..they went to jungle to get the game..they went to the oil wrld to get dirhams..

and as R asked, y dyu want twins.??

Unknown said...

I absolutely wouldn't mind it if my wife wanted to go across seven seas... if she is happy in whatever she is going to get into...
and the breadwinner that you are talking about is probably the early man... coz evolutionarily speaking again, men are more brawny than women... and brawn was all u needed to tackle wild animals, back in those days...

Just because you are from a state where its green all around, doesn't mean you are from a jungle! hehe... and we humans are definitely not hunting anymore (only for jobs)... so, I don't see why the discrimination about who the breadwinner is... do you?

Why I want twins is a totally different story... I might write another one on that later...

Jyoti said...

Well done Vamsee..for d post and more for the comment...btw, i was expectin to read smthng abt twin gals after seeing the title..but still gud one..vamsee type!!!...hehehe..keep writin!!!

Rafiki said...

I do believe that women are tuned to do that, though it is slowly changing and men who think like you are helping in the change. Keep up the good thoughts. Not too many men out there think like you.

Unknown said...

The chauvinistic possessive asshole I am.. I wd nt stay away frm my gal.. And I believe its my dharma to make sure tat she is happiest when she is with me...

@Jyoti..
:P

@V
where did I mention me comin frm a jungle..
and btw, the discrimination exists and will exist..feminists can go to hell..men are brawny and there are 1000 other minute features which makes men suitable fr certain stuff and women fr some otr stuff..

Unknown said...

@S - You could go along with her. Make things work, rather than stopping her from doing the things that she wants to do.

and Bingo... u hit the nail on the head with the last line in the first paragraph. It is definitely your dharma (duty) to make sure she is happy when she is with you... but, that doesn't mean that's the only way that she HAS to be happy. I wouldn't call your thought "possessiveness" at all coz that definitely comes across as dominating.

I am sorry if I presumed you to be from the jungle coz you definitely sound like an early man. There definitely are a bunch of differences between a man and a woman, some biological, some societal. My opposition is only against the societal. And if you want to talk about the biological difference (i.e., brawn), I know of a perfect girl who can kick the crap out of you. I am sure you know her too very very well. ;)

Unknown said...

@Rafiki - heyyyy... long time, no talk.. nice to see you commenting here again..
how have you been?

oh btw, I stole that "what India thinks about the world" image from your blog and posted it on facebook... Hope you don't mind... :D

Rafiki said...

:) I stole it from a friend off FB and put it on my blog. If you understand kannada it is like kere ya neeranu kere ge challi. No problem.

Ranjana said...

What a load of discussion!!.. now you know boys how we girls inspire world wars and men to behave like idiots...say what you might, we rule you, ur hearts and ur minds....let us do that in peace and we will make you boys the happiest men in the world!!

Unknown said...

Buhaha...

@V
thats lot of shit to read..

all i gotta say is tat time will tell u the tale..! :P

Unknown said...

@R

Whatever makes u happy..!

Unknown said...

@S - I am too impatient for some "time dude" to come and tell me a tale. I would prefer writing my own.

@R - I agree to a part of what u said... definitely not all...
lets just say girls have their own charms and guys aren't bad in their own way either... so, I am definitely not going agree to u and say u r the better of the two...

Indian Home Maker said...

I agree with you. I feel there should be mutual support and both should help each other realise their dreams... I am glad many men these days do understand this.

Musings... said...

Interesting perspectives! It is like there is a fault in both men and women who do this, or can we simply blame it on evolution?

Point is...no one is to blame...this is how society thinks and will continue to until that one woman or man takes a stand and does something different from the ordinary...and Vamsee, maybe you should encourage that! :)

Unknown said...

@Everyone - thanks for all the interesting comments and perspectives.

Everyone is built (brought up) in a different way different environments, so no wonder the difference in thinking here.

@Indian Home Maker - Its a pleasure to have such a prolific writer comment on my blog. :) Thanks again

@ Enchantress - I may/may not take up that stance depending on who the other person is... but, everything that I've mentioned on here definitely applies to me and it applies to all those who want it to apply to them...

Unknown said...

Vammy, I am so glad to read everything you said here.

Some of the comments (AHEM) made me furious, and you responded to them well. Thank you for not giving into old, foul, stagnant ways of thinking.

I appreciate men like you immensely! Especially since I know you are from one of many cultures that still (at least somewhat) support half of the population (women) being underestimated and badly utilized in many aspects. You are so good for your country!

Shyam said...

Your perspective is fine but that is not THE case all the time. I know many a girls studying, working abroad while their husbands are here serving their motherland. I am loathe to believe the argument of discrimination. I feel its the decision of the girl and boy to be together, probably.