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Wednesday, 23 December 2009

I want twins... girls!

I don't understand why a woman always builds her life around the man she is with. Evolution dictated terms and said, the man is the breadwinner of the house and the woman is the homemaker. But, it never said the woman has to weave her life around a man and keep moulding herself with every step of the man. I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She is about 4 yrs younger to me. A very brilliant girl and even better singer. I love her voice. If given a chance, I am sure she could make her name very easily in the Tinsel town. But she managed to go for a different choice altogether. Recently, she went ahead and got herself a husband. Oops.

I pinged her to ask how she was. She said she needed advice. I said I'll try. We talked some about entrance exam into a Ph.D. program. She was planning to get into a Ph.D. I was happy to see her give it a shot. I asked her why not come to the US? Much more exposure and definitely much easier to get into a Ph.D. program. The answer she gave me prompted me to write this post. "Coming to the US is out of question. I am married now". I am not against the institution of marriage. But, what she said after that bugs me the most about the Indian matrimonial system. She said, "My husband might go to the US pretty soon, though he might not stay for long. So, I definitely cannot look for opportunities in the US." WOW. The guy can go to the US, but not the girl? Why? I can't find even a single valid reason for this discrimination. The girl is supposed to make all the adjustments to be a part of what a man (with his puny brain) decides to make of his life. Kinda sucks!

47 comments:

Ranjana said...

alryt, so y do want two girls? so they can make two men do wat they want??... send for training to me, i will teach them the path to nirvana...lol!!!

Santhosh K Ramachandran said...

:P...

so much for ideals.. will u be fine with sending your wife across seven seas.???

Men has been the breadwinner since time immemorial..they went to seas to get fish..they went to jungle to get the game..they went to the oil wrld to get dirhams..

and as R asked, y dyu want twins.??

vamsee said...

I absolutely wouldn't mind it if my wife wanted to go across seven seas... if she is happy in whatever she is going to get into...
and the breadwinner that you are talking about is probably the early man... coz evolutionarily speaking again, men are more brawny than women... and brawn was all u needed to tackle wild animals, back in those days...

Just because you are from a state where its green all around, doesn't mean you are from a jungle! hehe... and we humans are definitely not hunting anymore (only for jobs)... so, I don't see why the discrimination about who the breadwinner is... do you?

Why I want twins is a totally different story... I might write another one on that later...

Jyoti Sharma said...

Well done Vamsee..for d post and more for the comment...btw, i was expectin to read smthng abt twin gals after seeing the title..but still gud one..vamsee type!!!...hehehe..keep writin!!!

Rafiki said...

I do believe that women are tuned to do that, though it is slowly changing and men who think like you are helping in the change. Keep up the good thoughts. Not too many men out there think like you.

Santhosh K Ramachandran said...

The chauvinistic possessive asshole I am.. I wd nt stay away frm my gal.. And I believe its my dharma to make sure tat she is happiest when she is with me...

@Jyoti..
:P

@V
where did I mention me comin frm a jungle..
and btw, the discrimination exists and will exist..feminists can go to hell..men are brawny and there are 1000 other minute features which makes men suitable fr certain stuff and women fr some otr stuff..

vamsee said...

@S - You could go along with her. Make things work, rather than stopping her from doing the things that she wants to do.

and Bingo... u hit the nail on the head with the last line in the first paragraph. It is definitely your dharma (duty) to make sure she is happy when she is with you... but, that doesn't mean that's the only way that she HAS to be happy. I wouldn't call your thought "possessiveness" at all coz that definitely comes across as dominating.

I am sorry if I presumed you to be from the jungle coz you definitely sound like an early man. There definitely are a bunch of differences between a man and a woman, some biological, some societal. My opposition is only against the societal. And if you want to talk about the biological difference (i.e., brawn), I know of a perfect girl who can kick the crap out of you. I am sure you know her too very very well. ;)

vamsee said...

@Rafiki - heyyyy... long time, no talk.. nice to see you commenting here again..
how have you been?

oh btw, I stole that "what India thinks about the world" image from your blog and posted it on facebook... Hope you don't mind... :D

Rafiki said...

:) I stole it from a friend off FB and put it on my blog. If you understand kannada it is like kere ya neeranu kere ge challi. No problem.

Ranjana said...

What a load of discussion!!.. now you know boys how we girls inspire world wars and men to behave like idiots...say what you might, we rule you, ur hearts and ur minds....let us do that in peace and we will make you boys the happiest men in the world!!

Santhosh K Ramachandran said...

Buhaha...

@V
thats lot of shit to read..

all i gotta say is tat time will tell u the tale..! :P

Santhosh K Ramachandran said...

@R

Whatever makes u happy..!

vamsee said...

@S - I am too impatient for some "time dude" to come and tell me a tale. I would prefer writing my own.

@R - I agree to a part of what u said... definitely not all...
lets just say girls have their own charms and guys aren't bad in their own way either... so, I am definitely not going agree to u and say u r the better of the two...

Indian Home Maker said...

I agree with you. I feel there should be mutual support and both should help each other realise their dreams... I am glad many men these days do understand this.

The Romantic Enchantress... said...

Interesting perspectives! It is like there is a fault in both men and women who do this, or can we simply blame it on evolution?

Point is...no one is to blame...this is how society thinks and will continue to until that one woman or man takes a stand and does something different from the ordinary...and Vamsee, maybe you should encourage that! :)

vamsee said...

@Everyone - thanks for all the interesting comments and perspectives.

Everyone is built (brought up) in a different way different environments, so no wonder the difference in thinking here.

@Indian Home Maker - Its a pleasure to have such a prolific writer comment on my blog. :) Thanks again

@ Enchantress - I may/may not take up that stance depending on who the other person is... but, everything that I've mentioned on here definitely applies to me and it applies to all those who want it to apply to them...

雅玲 said...

人生是故事的創造與遺忘。...............................................................

Rebecca said...

Vammy, I am so glad to read everything you said here.

Some of the comments (AHEM) made me furious, and you responded to them well. Thank you for not giving into old, foul, stagnant ways of thinking.

I appreciate men like you immensely! Especially since I know you are from one of many cultures that still (at least somewhat) support half of the population (women) being underestimated and badly utilized in many aspects. You are so good for your country!

730A_ngelinaRabideau0 said...

獨居時,要反省自己的過錯;在社會大眾之間,則要忘卻別人的過失。 ..................................................

王婷珊 said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。......................................................................

建彰建彰 said...

一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼.................................................................

于庭 said...

當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

王名仁 said...

當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

李李淑博淑林嘉宏真 said...

安安!剛開始玩這個,來這裡逛一下^^............................................................

云依恩HFH謝鄭JTR安 said...

每次看完你的文章,總是回味許久,要經常發表喔。..................................................................

新順 said...

感謝您給我的啟示!............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

成功可招引朋友,挫敗可考驗朋友............................................................

姿柯瑩柯dgdd憶曾g智曾 said...

Practice what you preach.............................................................

楊儀卉 said...

有用的才華若不用,便如同日晷儀放在陰暗之中............................................................

佳皓佳皓 said...

happy to read~ thank you!..................................................................

宥妃宥妃 said...

感覺很好的blog,祝你開心喔..................................................................

祥明祥明 said...

你不能決定生命的長度,但你可以控制它的寬度............................................................

楊儀卉 said...

文章不求沽名釣譽,率性就是真的............................................................

陳璇竹陳璇竹 said...

培養健全孩子最好的方法是父母先成為健全的人。............................................................

吳承虹 said...

百發百中不是一試就成的。..................................................

承王蓁 said...

Learning makes life sweet.

群育航學 said...

從來名利地,皆起是非心。.....................................................

家唐銘 said...

良言一句三冬暖,惡語傷人六月寒。......................................................................

凱許倫 said...

每次心情跌到谷底,就對自己說:休息一下再重新開始吧............................................................

信陳定 said...

活是一種鍛鍊靈魂的東西..................................................................

峻胡邦慧v帆 said...

嗯~蠻不錯耶~~我喜歡 ∩ 3∩............................................................

至馬馬馬馬玄馬馬馬馬 said...

happy to read~ thank you!............................................................

蕾蕾 said...

每日都有新日光,每日都有新希望。.................................................

千TatianaCallan惠 said...

凡走過必留下痕跡!不留言對不起你!............................................................

黃英吳思潔吳思潔邦 said...

一個人的際遇在第一次總是最深刻的,有時候甚至會讓人的心變成永遠的絕緣。......................................................................

林俊娟 said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

శ్యాం said...

Your perspective is fine but that is not THE case all the time. I know many a girls studying, working abroad while their husbands are here serving their motherland. I am loathe to believe the argument of discrimination. I feel its the decision of the girl and boy to be together, probably.